2 Seconds Flat

That's how quickly it can all go to hell when you have kids. Everything is going along swimmingly and then BAM! downhill faster than you can say, "What happened??". The good news is that this time around I have a good sense of humor about the hell I often fall into, and I've also learned to let go of the little things when the big things take over.

Yesterday, life was good. It was Wednesday, so that meant that Ali was coming for her weekly visit, and I was also scheduled to go see my friend Christi and her new (4 day old) baby, Henry. Things threatened to get nutty in the morning, but we pulled out of it quickly, and I had two happy kids and a happy Mama. While I was changing Zachary, Lexi had assumed her position, right by his head, entertaining the heck out of him while I swerved to avoid the poop rockets he was shooting at me. As she stood there holding his hand and saying, "Hi Zachary. Hi...hi..." he looked right into her eyes and said, "HI". No word of a lie. Lexi and I both stopped short and looked at each other. Lexi said to me, "Mummy, I didn't know that babies could talk!" I didn't know it either, but honestly if you did not know that Zachary was only 7 weeks old, you would have been sure he was a one year old responding to his big sister. It was hysterical! The rest of the day went great. It was fun visiting with Christi and the baby, and Ali and I hung out and chatted up a storm all afternoon. She is like my weekly therapy, and I look forward to her Wednesday visits all week long.

At 4:30, Ali, Zachary and I left the house to pick up Lexi and drop off Ali. On my way from Ali's to Fadia's my neighbor Maureen called to see if we had power. Uh oh...we had when I left the house, but sure enough, when I returned home we were out...along with the rest of Harold Street. Great. Luckily, although Gigi and Poppy were not home, Gigi had made a huge dish of rice pilaf before she left, and instructed me to take the kids there and eat dinner. So, I did. As the night progressed, so did the "estimated time power will be restored time" on National Grid's website. It went from 7:30pm, to 10:30 pm (when we decided that Lexi would sleep over at Gigi and Poppy's) to 1am (when we decided the rest of the family would sleep there too). Having a sleepover mid-week is inconvenient, but we were lucky to have the option, so Ahren and I went back to the house in the dark to pick up some clothes and supplies. Everything seemed like it was going to be "fine"...until 3am when Lexi woke up screaming because she had a bloody nose. This is not a terribly unusual event. Lexi never had a chance of not getting bloody noses, as Ahren and I both got them terribly when we were children. The bloody nose was fine...it was the fever that I worried about. Gigi and I got the nose under control and we all went back to bed...I, however was wide awake...worried about this fever, and wondering if she would be staying home from Fadia's in the morning...thinking about the plans I would have to cancel...worrying about what was causing the fever...and worst of all, worrying that Zachary might catch the illness from Lexi. 4am screams got me out of bed again with another bloody nose, and while she felt mildly cooler, she still had a fever. When we woke up this morning, it was clear that she would not be going to Fadia's today. This is where I need to take a big, deep breath and let go. I can't panic about what's not going to get done, what I'm going to miss, etc. I just have to rewire my brain into, "today we're all staying home."

So, here it is, almost noon, and I still have dishes from yesterday's breakfast in my sink, I haven't showered, Zachary is in his p.j.s, but we're good....I'm good. I guess the key to being a healthy mom free from the almost crippling anxiety I suffered from when Lexi was a baby is learning to be okay with the hell...it can come in 2 seconds flat, and if that's okay then we'll be okay. Because just as quickly as things can go to hell they can go just as fast back to good.