I have recently come up with the best possible analogy to the final weeks of pregnancy that I can think of, and while I think many people could appreciate it, only those who have run a marathon could come really close to understanding. Being in the last weeks of pregnancy is like having trained for a marathon for nine months. Then, the race director calls you, once you're all trained and says, "Okay, you're ready to go. You've trained well, your muscles are ready to survive the marathon and we will begin the race...sometime in the next three or four weeks. That's right, we're not going to tell you when. It might be first thing in the morning right after you've had a greasy egg breakfast, or it might be in the middle of the night while you're sleeping soundly. Maybe you'll be at work in your best suit, or at the grocery store picking up an extra gallon of milk. All I will tell you is that at some point the gun is going to go off, and when it does, you'd better start running." Anyone want to sign up for that event? This Dave McGillivray would be the director?
Every day I wake up and think, "If this is the day I go into labor, what do I want to get done today before that happens?" I am constantly reminded that I could continue along in this state for another three weeks, or in five minutes my water could break and I'll be "running" to the hospital. Everywhere I go I get comments and suggestions: "Oh my god, you're HUGE!!", "You should eat Chinese food." ,"Try going for a long walk.", "Have you tried having a beer?", "Just relax, if you relax then the baby can come out.", "Maybe you're too relaxed and the baby is just too comfortable to come out" (I actually got those two comments within an hour of each other), "Ugh, you're still here, huh?", and my personal favorite, "OH MY GOD!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!" When I asked what she meant she replied, "You got SO much bigger than the last time I saw you!" I explained that I was pregnant and she mumbled on about how ridiculous it was that I was so big...can you believe the nerve of me? Everyone tells me not to think about it, just try to go about my regular day, but how is that possible when every single person I encounter wants to have a ten minute conversation with me about when I think I'm going to have the baby, how early, late, or on time they were with their children, some crazy horror story about when their wife or mother or friend gave birth....it's ALL anyone wants to talk to me about!
Yet at the same time, it's very difficult for me to focus on anything but this baby right now. He has nestled himself so tightly in my pelvis that my legs no longer go together. He plays my sciatic nerve like the guitar, and when he gets bored he uses my bladder as a pillow to take a little nap - but much like the cats, like to push it all around for awhile, making sure it's nice and soft before settling in. Acupunture (originally intended to get labor moving) at least helped to relieve the heartburn that was making me feel like a fire-breathing dragon, so now the only thing keeping me from being able to rest is that everytime I get cozy on the couch my legs start jumping all around and I have to get up and walk around.
Anyway, the circus side show (me) is still hanging on, and I PROMISE to let you all know when the baby comes. I'm just waiting for the damn gun to go off!