Sometimes I wish I could watch clips of my life on video after they happen...not that I think the story of my life would bring in millions at the box office, mostly because I think it would be hysterical to watch replays of my most ridiculous moments as a mom. This afternoon's "video" would definitely be one that I would watch over and over, surely laughing until I cried each time.
Mondays are not always my best days. I don't "work" on Mondays, so they are usually spent trying to prepare the house and kids for the next three days of work and school. If my weekend is too busy to get the laundry and grocery shopping done, then I am left Mondays to figure out how to do those things with a three year old and an infant. Such is how this Monday began...but it all started with a plan. Lexi needed a new hat, and it seems that hats for three year-olds are hard to come by, though I was pretty sure that Old Navy would have some. Usually we do our grocery shopping at Market Basket, but since there is a Stop and Shop next to the Old Navy, I figured that would do for one week. So off we went, Zach in the bjorn, and Lexi on foot, and ultimately in the cart at Stop and Shop. It was almost lunch time by the time we got to the grocery store, so I knew we'd have to be quick before kids and Mama started getting hungry and cranky. However, trying to pick up all the usual groceries in an unfamiliar grocery store with two kids (one of whom is attached to you) can prove to be quite a trick. But, we finally managed to pick up almost everything on our list, and started loading things on the check out belt. Lexi and Zach were both still relatively happy, but I knew my time was short. The cashier ran everything through, told me my total, and I swiped my card. As I turned to put my card away I heard a scream from Lexi. I turned to look and she had blood literally shooting from her nose. oh.no. I quickly grabbed a tissue and jammed it on her face. She continued to scream and pull away while I am trying desperately to reach her without shoving Zachary (still attached to my front in the bjorn) directly in the line of streaming blood. Everyone around us began to flip out. I think they may have thought I punched her in the nose or something. They are all looking at me with great concern, asking if I need tissues, if they can help me in some way, and expressing in horror that there is SO.MUCH.BLOOD! I'm very used to these nose bleeds...they happen quite frequently...just not usually in the grocery store. So, while I continue to contain the situation with the help of the cashier handing me enormous wads of paper towel (which are very quickly soaking with blood) I notice that the bagger is putting my groceries in plastic bags. "NO!" I yell, pointing. "I HAVE BLUE BAGS!!! BLUE BAGS!! PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME PLASTIC!!!" The bagger looked at me like I was nuts (maybe she was right!), why was I concerned about the bags when my daughter was bleeding out, screaming at the top of her lungs?? In no time Zachary lost it. He does not like it when his sister cries, so he started in with her. I am now one handedly trying to enter my pin number, keep the bloody tissues under control, assure everyone around me that we are fine, and comfort both of my screaming children (one of whom is, yes...still strapped to me!). As I push the cart out of the checkout row I am met by the manager who asks me what seems to be the problem. I assure him that she is fine, she gets these all the time, and really, we're going to be okay. He offers me cold towels (I'm wondering where he is going to get said towels), when suddenly the women from the bank start waving tissues and disinfectant wipes, and the bagger (now behind me) hands me a plastic bag to put the bloody tissues in. I'm sure she was thrilled when I just tossed the bloody tissues in and left them for her to deal with. I took the tissues and wipes from the bank women and continued to try to navigate my way out the door and to the car while begging Lexi to lean in towards me so that I can reach her nose with the tissue. When I got to the car a man in the car next to me yells out in a thick Italian accent, "Oh dear, blood nose?" "Yes" I smile back and continue to try to figure out what I'm going to do next. A kind woman who had been behind me in the store came over and helped me get my bags in the car. All I needed was to get Zach off my chest so that I could help Lexi out of the cart...but no one was willing to take over bloody tissue holding for me, so there we all stood...Zach crying, Lexi bleeding, and me looking like a total fool trying to keep it all together. Finally her nose bleed stopped long enough for me to get Zach into his seat, and Lexi out of the cart. I thanked the kind woman profusely, quickly buckled both children into their seats and drove out of there half laughing, half crying.
Yes, it's always an adventure. And this is why I always say that the days I go to work and the kids go to daycare/preschool are my easiest days by far. :)
